Welcome to New Revolution!

~ Sticky Post - Scroll down for updates ~

Welcome to New Revolution - Cynical Book. Formerly this blog was home to a few articles on global warming, but post Climategate, there seems to be no need for that anymore.

Instead, this blog is now being used to host a fan fiction that tells the story of modern events, through the lense of Axis Powers Hetalia, a manga created and owned by Hidekazu Himaruya, and several original characters based off APH but created by me.

Please enjoy the story, and drop a comment to let me know how you liked it. (You don't need to have a Google account to leave a comment on this blog.)

Story Title: New Revolution
Rating: Pg-13, T
Genre: Current Events, Drama


Showing posts with label America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label America. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Chapter 8: Oil Spill

Summary: And just when no thought it could get worse, it got worse. This catastrophe's name? Deepwater Horizon.
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"Life improves slowly and goes wrong fast,and only catastrophe is clearly visible."

- Edward Teller



Finding out which of the many rooms in Texas' large house belonged to America was an easy thing, England had been in it yesterday and Arizona was sitting outside the door.

"Are you waiting for news too?" England asked.

Arizona looked up at the sound of the other nation's voice. "What? Oh, yeah. Clay's with Dad now." He said, then leaned his head back against the wall and resumed waiting.

He didn't have to wait long, as the door opened and closed a moment later, letting out Texas.

"Dad'll be fine," Texas said to Arizona, setting his cowboy hat back on his head as he did. "He says he wants to be left alone for now."

"Okay." Arizona said as he stood back up. "I have my phone, so tell him to text me if he needs me." Then the Grand Canyon State turned and left.

England stepped forward. "I want to talk to America." He announced. Texas held out a hand to stop him.

"You can't. He doesn't want to see you."

"What do you mean he doesn't want to see me?" Arthur demanded.

"Exactly what I said." Clay said. "He doesn't want to see you." then he pushed past the other nation and headed back downstairs.

Doesn't want to see me? After everything I've done for the stupid wanker he doesn't want to see me?!


***

About an hour later, as he was leaving his room and heading back downstairs, Arthur nearly collided with Alejandro who was running up the stairs.

"Ooh, sorry Mr. England." Arizona said as he picked up the envelope he'd been holding and his cellphone.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry, lad?" Arthur asked.

"I just got a text message from Dad. He wants to see me."

"He does, does he?"

In response, Arizona flipped open his phone and showed the message on the screen to the Nation.

AZ, come c me. bring 1070.

The state flipped his phone shut and continued up the stairs, and England decided to go find Texas. That task was made much easier when he came across Mrs. Baker down on the main floor.

"Excuse me Mrs. Baker, could you tell me where Texas is?" He asked.

"He would be in his study right now Mr. Kirkland." She replied. "If you don't mind my asking, how is Mr. Jones doing?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out." Arthur said as he headed away.

He went to the State's office and knocked on the door.

"If it's Arizona, then go away."

"It's England."

"Oh. Come in."

England entered the room as Texas looked up from his desk. "What do you need, Mr. Kirkland?"
"I need to speak with America."

"My father specified that he did not want to see you."

"He said that earlier, but he may have changed his mind no, and if that's the case, then I'd like to talk to him." England pointed out.

Texas considered it for a moment, then shrugged. "I'll ask him, then." He picked up his phone and typed out a text message, then set the phone back down. He picked a pile of papers that were sitting on the desk, stood up, and walked over to a filing cabinet. He pulled open a drawer, shoved in some papers, and pulled some others out. As he pulled the others out, England noticed that several other sheets fell to the floor. Texas didn't seem to notice as he turned back to his desk and set the other folders down. As he did, his phone buzzed.

He flipped it open and glanced at it, then held the phone out to England, who read the messages.

TX @ AMRCA 10:11 a.m.: Dad, england wants 2 talk 2 u
AMRCA @ TX 10:14 a.m.: Sry, no.

"Well, that settles it." Texas said as he flipped the phone shut.

"That settles it?" Arthur repeated incredulously.

"As far as I'm concerned." Texas, giving the Nation a long look. Before he could say anything else, Mrs Baker nodded on the office door. "Mr. Thompson, your foreman would like to speak to you."

"Coming." Texas said as he stood up from behind the desk and headed for the door.

England would have liked to sit there and stew in his angry thoughts, but there was something he was far more interested in looking at: the two papers that had fallen to the floor when Texas retrieved his files from the cabinet. Hoping he wouldn't get caught snooping, he bent over and picked them up.

The first sheet was in America's handwriting.

Dear Clay, [it ran]

I heard what you boss said the other day, about your ceding from the Union. I know you're upset that the president won, and I know you don't trust him, but please, give him a chance. Don't do this to me or your siblings. Not again. No one needs this, not now.

- America

Feeling cold, England opened the other sheet of paper. It was a response to the first letter. No, he realized as he looked at it, it was a draft of a response.

Dear Dad America Dad,

I know that you and the other states think that POTUS is the greatest president since Reagan, but you've all got another guess coming you all couldn't be more wrong. This guy is bad news, and


The letter broke off suddenly. Feeling colder than before, Arthur set the papers back down where he'd found them, and exited the office.

He was going to talk to Alfred now, whether the States interfered or not.


***

Alfred had given up drinking tea after the Revolutionary War, but with these Tea Parties everywhere, he had to drink tea again now.

At least, that was what Arthur told himself as he climbed the stairs to Alfred's room, a tea service on a tray held firmly in both hands. when he came to the door to Alfred's room he didn't even knock, he just pushed the door open and went on in.

The room was at the very least large enough to be a master suite, and the wide windows on one wall commanded an impressive view of the sweeping plains that surrounded the house. England entered the room and shut the door behind him. America was lying in the bed against the far wall, and appeared to be sleeping. Quietly, Arthur crossed the room and set the tray down on the desk.

"You know Clay, I think you were right, what you told me about POTUS." America said suddenly, and England jumped. "He doesn't want to bring people together, he only wants to divide."

Suddenly the other nation felt very guilty for listening in a conversation that had nothing to do with him. "I'm not Texas." He said as he turned to face Alfred.

America suddenly looked embarrassed. "I thought I said I didn't want to see you."

"I came anyway. How about some tea, Alfred?"

"Please." The superpower accepted the cup Arthur handed him and watched as the other nation took a cup and perched on the edge of the bed. For a moment no one spoke. Then England asked a question that had been on his lips all day.

"How long have things been this bad?"

For a moment Alfred didn't answer. Then he said, "Since the first stimulus bill, back in 2009. POTUS thought he was helping, but he hasn't, and he can't see it and everything's gotten worse." He paused. "I shouldn't have invited you down here. I didn't want you getting involved with this."

"Alfred, it's too late for that. You're the United States of America, you dumb git. Everything you do has effects on the rest of us, just like ripples in a pond." England said. "Besides, we've always helped each other, remember? The World Wars, the War on Terror. We're friends. And we're Allies."


For a moment Alfred stayed quiet. Then he said, "Thanks. But I don't think you know what you're getting into."


"I think I'm already into it, whatever it is." England replied, then drained his cup and set it back on the tray. "Done?"


"Sure." America said as he handed the half-empty cup back. "If you see Clay around somewhere, tell him I'll be down for dinner tonight, okay?"


"Yes," England replied. as he stood up and picked up the try. He wanted to add something else, something that would reassure the other nation, but there was nothing else he could say.

***
After his visit with America, England went back to his own room and was planning on a long phone conversation with his Prime Minister, but as he was dialing the number, there came a banging on his door.


He pulled it open to find Texas standing on the other side. "There's oil spilling from a damaged well in the Gulf of Mexico, and it's started washing up on the coast. Dad is flying back to D.C. right now."


"Right now?" Arthur repeated.


"Right now." Texas confirmed.


"Understood. I'll go back with him-" England turned to head back into the room, but Texas grabbed his arm.


"There's something else you need to know." Texas said. "The well that just blew up, the Deepwater horizon well, it belonged to the British Petroleum company.


And only on thought went through Arthur's head. Oh, crap.


---------------------------------------------------

T.A.R.N.S.: I apologize for the long delay here, but hey, now that the election is over, I at least know how to write the ending. School has been keeping me very busy, but I got back!


The Deepwater Horizon oil spill began on April 20, when methane gas from the bottom of the ocean came shooting up, ignited, and exploded. On the 22nd, despite attempts to contain the fire on the rig, it sank. Eventually all that oil started washing up on U.S. shores, but we'll deal with that in future chapters.

Anyway, I'm sorry if things seem rushed, but I've been a little rushed. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chapter 7: Thousand Point Drop

Summary: A Nation's health was in it's economy, and America's already damaged economy was about to take another hit ... a big one.

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A market is the combined behaviour of thousands of people responding to information, misinformation, and whim."

- Kenneth Chang

As far as vacations went, England had to admit, this was a pretty good one. Not that he'd intended to take a vacation, but this was pretty nice. A piece land far away from the nearest town, with nothing around for miles. It was a relaxing, quiet place.

"Hey! Has anyone seen my mp3?" Alejandro yelled.

"You left it down here!" America called back. England sighed and turned away from the view out on the balcony, heading back inside the house. Well, at least it was quiet most of the time. When Alfred and the states decided to communicate vocally as opposed to text messaging, then things got loud.

"Would it kill you to text each other and spend less time shouting?" England said as he came back downstairs. America and Arizona glanced at each other.

"We weren't that far away. Why waste a text?" America asked.

'Never mind," Arthur sighed as he turned and walked away. He needed a cup of tea, and the kitchen should be this way.

Just when he was sure he was lost, the door opened and Clay entered the room. He noticed England, then asked, "Are you lost?"

"No, just turned around. Where's the kitchen?"

"I'll show you. Just let me set this stuff down first." Texas dumped his briefcase and files down on the table and slid out of his suit jacket, dropping it over a chair. "This way." He led the way back out of the room, around the corner and a few feet down the hall until he came to a swinging door.

"This is the kitchen." Texas said. "If it's tea you're looking for, that would be in the far cupboard just to the right of the sink. Mugs teacups are in the cupboard to the left as you enter the kitchen."

"What are you two doing?" America asked as he came to a stop next to the pair.

"I was just about to make some tea." England said. "Do you want some?"

"No thanks. Besides, it's mid afternoon out there and it's hot, how can you drink that stuff?"

"I'm used to drinking it, you dumb wanker, and besides -" Arthur broke off abruptly as he saw the strange look on America's face.

Texas noticed it too. "Dad, what's wrong?"

"The Dow just dropped ... way down." Alfred said, then his eyes slid shut and he collapsed.

"Dad!" Texas exclaimed as he and Arthur raced to the other nation's side.

"If this is because of a stock market drop, then he should be fine once the market recovers." England said.

"I know that." Texas said. The door to the kitchen opened and Mrs. Baker, Clay's housekeeper, exited, glancing at the scene in front of her.

"Mrs. Baker, I need you to find Arizona and see if he's alright." Clay said. The woman nodded and headed off to try and find the state.

"Are you sure that was the right thing to do?" England asked.

"It's fine. she knows the truth about what we are," Clay said as he wrapped America's arm around his shoulders and stood up. "Will you help me get him upstairs?"

England stood up and took America's other arm, and together, the nation and the state headed for the stairs, holding the prone country between them.

---------------------------------------------------
T.A.R.N.S.: In this story, When something like this stock market dive happens, America takes the brunt of the hit. The states are less affected, though they still feel it to a degree. Texas has a strong economy, so he doesn't feel it as much.

On May 6th, 2010, at 2:48 p.m., for unknown reasons, the stock market suddenly took a 1,000 point drop. To this day I'm not sure anyone's figured out why, though I have heard it said that it might have been a computer error.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Chapter 5: Dancing in the Dark

Summary: California was certain that with all her threats of boycotts and attempt to ruin Arizona's economy, she could make him see the light. Too bad he controlled the electricity for her lights.

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"... As a state-wide elected member of the Arizona Corporation Commission overseeing Arizona’s electric and water utilities, I too am keenly aware of the “resources and ties” we share with the City of Los Angeles. In fact, approximately twenty-five percent of the electricity consumed in Los Angeles is generated by power plants in Arizona.

If an economic boycott is truly what you desire, I will be happy to encourage Arizona utilities to renegotiate your power agreements so Los Angeles no longer receives any power from Arizona-based generation. I am confident that Arizona’s utilities would be happy to take those electrons off your hands."

- Arizona Corporation Commission Rep. Gary Pierce, warning Los Angeles to think twice before they try and boycott Arizona.


The night spent at Clay's house was a quiet one, as far as England knew. There was no sound in the building, other than the sound of crickets and occasionally, a coyote howl outside.

The morning, however was quite different. After breakfast, which was served by Mrs. Baker, Texas prepared to leave, citing a meeting at his capitol he had to be at that afternoon.

An hour after breakfast found the Lone Star State in the foyer of his house, checking the files in his briefcase.

"Here's that file you thought you were missing." Alfred said as he came back into the room and handed Clay another file.

Texas glanced at the contents. "Yeah, this is the right one. Thanks." He shoved the file into his briefcase and snapped the case shut. "So what are you planning to do today?"

"I don't know. I'm feeling change again, but I'm not sure which way this will go." America replied.

England watched silently, and Arizona was sitting in a chair on the other side of the foyer, listening to his music.

"Several of us," 'Us' being the states, "Are thinking about getting a bill like Arizona's." Texas said.

America nodded. "I feel support for 1070 everywhere."

Before anyone could say anything, there came an irritated banging on the front door.

"I wonder who that could be," Texas muttered as he set his briefcase down and went to answer the door. Before he could even put a hand on the knob the door swung open, slamming Texas into the wall.

California was standing in the doorway, a scowl firmly planted on her face. She stormed into the room and grabbed Arizona, pulling him out of the chair and up to her eye level.

"You little twerp," She shrieked. "How could you do this?"

"Do what?" Alejandro asked.

"Pass this dumb bill. How could you be this insensitive? All those poor immigrants want is to make a better life for themselves!"

"It doesn't matter, California. they're here illegally." Alejandro said.

"You can't do this! I'll make sure you back down! I'll boycott you!" California screamed.

Arizona grinned and knocked her arm away, allowing himself to land back on the floor. "So, you want to boycott me, huh? That's fine. But it means I'll have to take away your electricity."

"What?"

"Well, my dams generate 25% of your electricity, and if you want to wreck my economy, than I'll turn off your lights."

There was a long pause, then California growled, "I'll get you for this."

Texas, in the meantime, had freed himself from behind the door and was dragging California back over to the door. "Not in my house, he said as he tossed her out and slammed the door behind her.

"Wait, wait," England said, then turned to America. "Why didn't you intervene?"

"Because I didn't need too." America said.

The nation turned to Arizona. "And I thought you came over here because you didn't want to run into the other states."

"Not the other states." Arizona corrected. "Just New York and California. Mostly New York, because I knew I could handle California."

And England could only wonder, what had he gotten himself into?

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T.A.R.N.S.: short chapter this time. I think the next chapter will be short, too, but I'm not sure. We'll see. And I see it's time to get CA's bio up here. One thing I forgot to mention last chapter: In APH the leaders of countries are not referred to by name, instead being known as 'X country's boss.' Okay? I didn't have a title for this chapter, so I just used Bruce Springsteen's song title. I like that song. But it is kind of misleading because no one's dancing, but California might end up sitting in the dark.

Anyway, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Chapter 4: How Do You Say 'Hypocrite' in Spanish?

Summary: Watch your back Arizona, there's a lot of people who've found out about you new immigration enforcement bill and don't like it. Just a friendly warning.

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"Amnesty is a big billboard, a flashing billboard, to the rest of the world that we don't really mean our immigration law."

-Richard Lamm

***

Due to some delays it had taken England and America some time to get to Arizona's house; in comparison, it took only a very short amount of time to get from Phoenix Arizona to the Houston airport.

"So where are we going from here?" England said as they exited the airport.

"Texas' house. But I have to go get my ride first." America replied.

"Get your ride?"

"My motorcycle. It's what I use to travel when I'm down here." Alfred explained. "Come on, I'll show you. The storage is only a few blocks away."

It only took them a few minutes to get to the storage building from the airport.

"Well, here it is," Alfred announced as he slid open the creaky metal door. "Oh good. Clay put it back."

Arthur peered around him, studying the shiny black machine sitting in the mostly empty storage building. "Clay put it back?"

"Clay is Texas' human name." America explained as he pulled down one of the helmets hanging on the wall and glanced over the three others. "He has key to this place too. And a key to the motorcycle." He selected one of the other helmets hanging on the wall and handed it to England. "This should fit you."

"And you have extra helmets because ...?"

"Sometimes one of the other states come down here with me." America replied. "I even brought Alaska down once."

"I bet that ended well," England said as he strapped on his helmet.

"The poor guy about died in the heat." America said as he tucked his rucksack into one of the panniers on the bike. "He doesn't come down so much anymore." He wheeled the bike outside the storage and then closed the door. "Well, let's get going!"

He slid onto the bike, and with a resigned sigh England got on behind him.

"How long is this ride going to take?" England asked as America turned the machine on.

"About an hour, after we get out of Houston," America replied. Then he revved up the motor and hit the road.

The trip did take an hour, winding first around the city or Houston, then onto the expressway and finally, onto a long, mostly deserted stretch of road.

Just before England was ready to ask if the trip was ever going to come to an end, they passed a stand of trees and started travelling parallel to a long wrought iron fence. About fifteen minutes after coming up next to the fence Alfred turned off the road and into a long driveway that led up to a tall, large white ranch house.

***


The fact that someone was banging with gusto on the front door was what eventually dragged Clay Thompson, personification of the state of Texas, out of his office and out to answer the door.

"Someone is banging enthusiastically on my door. It's either my stepfather or one of my siblings. I wonder which." Clay pulled the door open. "It's my stepfather. And England. Father, what brings you here?"

"I'm here to see Arizona."

"Oh, yes. Why he's camped out at my house is beyond me, but he's here. Follow me." Clay lead the way through the house. As they walked, Arthur noticed several flags tacked one after the other on the wall: a white flag with a single star, cannon, and the words 'come and take it' on it, then the Texas flag, the Confederate flag, and finally an American flag.

"Here." Texas said as he pushed open the door to his living room. Arizona was sitting in one of the chairs, listening to his mp3.

"Arizona!" America said as he entered the room, and the other state looked up from his music.

"Hey Dad. I didn't think you would come down here."

"Well I tried to find you at your house, but you weren't there." Alfred said.

"Yeah, New York and California are mad at me, and I didn't want to run into them. California I can handle, but I'm not sure about New York." Alejandro explained.

"I read your bill on the way down and I love it. but I think you will have trouble with it eventually."

"It's already started. California's trying to boycott me, and she's mad, and New York's mad too. It's crazy."

Sensing that America and Arizona would probably be talking for awhile, England turned to Texas. "Is there someplace I can rest here? Alfred and I have been travelling since this morning."

"Of course, follow me." Texas replied as he turned away and headed back down the hall, towards the stairs. "So, Mr. Kirkland, if you don't mind me prying into my father's business, what brings you down here?"

"I came over to the continent to visit Canada, and thought I would stop by and visit Alfred while I was here." Arthur explained as he followed Clay up the stairs. "Now I think I've really gotten mixed up in something."

"You probably have." Texas replied as he stopped outside a door and pushed it open. "You can use this room while you're here. If you need anything, my housekeeper is around somewhere, I'm in my office, and Alejandro and my father both know their way around the place."

"There is something I'd like to know." England said. "What is 1070?"

Texas sighed. "State bill 1070 is a bill my brother Arizona passed that enforces federal immigration law. And, he's getting a lot of grief for it. Illegal immigration is a real problem around here, and the bigger problem is that no one back in D.C. wants to combat it. D.C. himself doesn't want to combat it."

"D.C.?"

"The federal government is so large now it has it's own personification. D.C.'s main talents are interfering and redistributing money, though why D.C thinks he has to meddle everywhere is beyond me." Texas shrugged and turned away. "Anyway I have to get back to work."

***

Mexico. Located directly south of America, best known as a spring break spot for college students and for exporting illegal drugs and impoverished Mexicans to America.

Phillipe Santa Anna, personification of the nation of Mexico, was working at his desk when he received a memo about Arizona's new law.

"This is racist!" Santa Anna exclaimed, angrily reading the memo.

Fact: In Mexico, foreigners can be barred if it is believed that they will "upset the national equilibrium." How's that for racist?

"Of all the nerve! That arrogant worm dares throw out people who are just trying to make a better life for themselves!"

Fact: You're not welcome in Mexico if you have nothing to contribute, if you're not physically and mentally healthy, or have contempt for the Mexican government. By their own rules, no Mexicans who are in America right now would be allowed here.

There was a knocking on the door, and Mexico's boss came in. "Phillipe, I'm going to up to visit the American president in two weeks, and we will discuss this new bill of Arizona's."

"I will come with you." Phillipe said. "This ridiculous bill must not be allowed to stand!"

So, how do you say hypocrite in Spanish? I'm not sure, but I think I know how it's spelled:

M-E-X-I-C-O.

---------------------------------------------

T.A.R.N.S.: The Mexican hypocrisy is just incredible. You can read more on how they treat their illegals here in this post from Michelle Malkin. Texas' bio is up there under sticky notes. Anyway, please leave a comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Chapter 3: All Hail S.B. 1070

Summary: Arizona's new bill, S.B. 1070, seems to cause more trouble than it fixes. But that doesn't mean that AZ's gonna give it up.

T.A.R.N.S.: I apologize for the delay in getting this thing up here. I've been working on some other things besides this, and of course there was the section I lost. Uh... I think this is plot development, but I'm not sure. Anyway, please enjoy.

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So in response to Arizona's 1070 bill, Democrats trotted out their favorite counter-argument: racist! But inquiring minds want to know, did they even read the bill?



***

Early the next morning found Arthur again patrolling the streets of D.C., trying to figure out where Alfred had vanished off too. As far as he and Arizona knew, Alfred had not come back to his apartment last night, or if he had, he had came back very late that night and left early the next day.

"I don't know if he came back or not last night," Arizona had said earlier that morning before England left. "I didn't hear anyone come in. Kind of a shame, because I was hoping to talk to him last night."

"Do you know where he could be in this city?" England had asked, sipping his mug of tea. Alfred didn't have any respectable teacups.

"Nope." Well that was less than helpful. "He knows every square inch of this city, so he could be anywhere." It went without saying that no country got lost in their own land.

'Come to this land of sunshine, to this land where life is young, where the wide wide world is waiting, the songs that will now be sung...' Arizona pulled out his cell phone, glanced at the screen, and then flipped it open, quickly skimming the text message that was there. "That's not good." he turned to England. "excuse me, would you? I really have to return this call.'

"Fine," Arthur replied, dumping his cup and the remnants of the tea in the sink. "I'm going to go see if I can find your father."


Arizona barely nodded at the comment, busy with his cellphone.

And that was how England had found himself wandering through the streets of D.C. so early in the morning. The sun was just barely beginning to peek above the horizon and burn off some early morning mist.

He wound through the pedestrians on the sidewalk, checking email as they walked or sipping cups of coffee, but always hurrying on to wherever they were going.

If there was one advantage Arthur had on his side, it was that Nations could always detect other Nations, and he was counting on that to help him find Alfred.

He prowled through the city, keeping an eye open for a tall man with sandy blond hair and an idiot smile, then he felt something. Alfred. Arthur turned and forced his way through the crowd headed for a nearby memorial.

His senses hadn't failed him; Alfred was curled up in the shadow of the statue, sound asleep.

Arthur rolled his eyes and sat down to wait. He didn't have to wait long (a fact he was grateful for.) America woke up a few minutes later.

"You know, you have a perfectly good apartment a few miles away from here." England pointed out. "And you're sleeping next to a statue because...?"

"Because I wanted to," America replied as he stood up.

"You had a visitor last night." Arthur said as he got back to his feet.

"Really? who was it?" If it was the President, then don't tell me.

"He said he was the state of Arizona."

Alfred's eyes widened. "Alejandro!? He was in D.C.?"

England nodded, assuming that Alejandro was Arizona's human name. "You missed that because you were out here sleeping by a statue."

America, however, missed the barb. "Is he still at the apartment?"

England nodded. "He was when I left, though he mentioned needing to take care of some-thing!" Arthur barely had time to finish before America took off, dragging him back outside and down the stairs.

"Alfred! Slow down! You'll get the both of us killed, stupid wanker!" The other nation protested as he was dragged through the streets of the city.

America relented and slowed down a little. "I thought there was something going on in the Southwest. I want to know what Arizona's doing. And we're nations. We won't die."

"Even so, you don't need to run through the streets like a lunatic." Arthur replied. "You're going to attract a bunch of attention to us."

Even at the slower pace, they still managed to get back to the apartment fairly quickly, but when they arrived, they found no one there, just a letter addressed to America and an envelope sitting on the table.

Alfred quickly skimmed the letter.

Dad,

I wanted to talk to you about the new bill my legislature just past (S.B. 1070) but something's come up and I have to get back home. I left the stuff in the envelope on the table.

- AZ


"I have to go to Arizona." Alfred announced, tucking the letter and envelope into his jacket.

"I presume you mean the actual land of Arizona?" England asked.

"What did you think I was talking about?"

"I don't know. That's why I asked." England replied, watching as Alfred grabbed a rucksack lying near the door and headed back towards his room. "When are you going to leave?" he called.

"Umm... as soon as I can." Alfred called back. "Why? Do you wanna go too?"

England sighed. "I feel like I'm getting mixed up in quite a mess here. But fine, I'll come." He finished as he went to go gather his things.

***


Four hours later found the pair in Phoenix, Arizona, standing outside a two-story house in one of the city's subdivisions.

"This is Arizona's house?" Arthur asked, looking at the simple building. In the front yard, a flag pole held both an American flag an underneath that, the flag of the state of Arizona.

"Yep. But we'll have to go in the side door." America replied, heading for a wooden staircase on the side of the house.

"Why are we going in the side door?" England asked as he followed America up the stairs. "The front door looks like it still works."

"Arizona rented out the bottom half of his house," Alfred explained as he knocked on the door. "He only lives on the second floor now."

There was no response to any knocks, and no sound from inside the building. Finally Alfred gave up and pulled out his phone. He typed in '48', which was the number for the speed dial to Arizona's phone, and hit the green call button.

"Hmm... no answer here either." America announced. He typed a different number in and tried again, this time getting an answer.

At least, it sounded like he'd gotten an answer, because Arthur couldn't understand a word of the ensuing conversation. To be fair, the conversation only took about three minutes, but it was held entirely in Spanish.

"Well, we have to go see Texas now." Alfred said as he slid his phone shut. "AZ's over there with him."

"Great." England muttered.

"I knew you'd understand." America replied cheerfully. "Come on, let's get back to the airport."

***

Shortly after America and England left to head to Arizona's house, back in Washington, D.C., another personification sat at his desk working. He was busily looking over the final draft of yet another president-approved bill, when a note was delivered to his desk.

He picked it up and read the brief news bulletin that followed: Arizona legislature passes S.B. 1070, allowing cops to ask for identification paper's if they reasonable suspicion someone may be in the country illegally."

"That's racist!" He exclaimed, throwing the paper down. "This has be stopped, somehow!"

***


Out in the state of California, the personification of that state was sitting in her large Beverly hills home enjoying herself in her private sauna when one of her maids knocked on the door and handed her a sheet of paper.

California hastily skimmed the note, then scowled. "That's racist! That shouldn't be allowed!" She wrapped her robe around herself, then headed out to get dressed.

In New york, a similar note was being passed to that state's personification.

"If Arizona thinks he's going to get away with this, he's got another guess coming."

------------------------------------------------------------

T.A.R.N.S.: And AZ's about to get a bundle of trouble, all for wanting to protect his people. Poor guy. And I'd like to apologize to my CA readers for the fact I made CA a liberal, but I'm going for stereotypes here, so liberal and prima donna-ish is how she comes across. Also, the song that was AZ's ringtone is the state song of Arizona.

Also, if anyone can help me stereotype Indiana, it would be appreciated. Yes, I am from IN, but I can't see the forest for the trees, so I need some help.

Anyway, please leave a comment and tell me what you thought!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Chapter 2: Yes Tea Can Part II

T.A.R.N.S: Alright, here's part two. For all the headers, kindly see part 1.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was almost four-thirty that afternoon before Alfred followed England back to the National Mall. When they arrived, though, England was surprised to see that the crowd had thinned out considerably.

"Ah, my feet are killing me," Melissa sighed as she sat on Amy's cooler; a small, hard, plastic thing known as the "Box of Holding " for Amy's tendency to use it to store anything and everything. She took another sip of her tea and glanced around, waiting for the rest of her group to come back.

"You're packing up already?" Melissa looked up and was somewhat surprised to see England standing in front of her. "Mr. Kirkland! We didn't think you were coming back after you left earlier." Then she noticed Alfred. "And who is this?"

"This is my friend, Alfred Jones." Arthur replied, then asked. "Your Tea Party is done already?"

Melissa nodded. "Some people are going to stay later, but for most of us the party is over at five."

"What things end at five?" Amy asked, coming up behind Melissa and dropping a handful of signs to the ground.

"Oh, I was just telling Mr. Kirkland that we're all done for today." Melissa replied.

Amy glanced at the Brit. "Oh, hey. We didn't think you were coming back."

"So I hear." Arthur replied.

"I'll be right back." Amy said. "I have to go pick up some flags." She headed off, back in the direction she'd come from.

"Do you have anymore tea?" Another voice asked, and Melissa, Alfred and Arthur all glanced in the direction the voice had come from. Melissa, however, recovered fastest and stood up, turning to open the cooler. "Of course we do, Derek." She tossed him a package of Styrofoam cups and a thermos.

He poured a tiny amount of liquid into one of the cup and quickly swallowed the sip. "Thanks. Just needed enough to wet my throat. Are we all ready to go?"

Melissa nodded. "As soon as Brian and Amy come back. They're getting our flags back."

"You mean they have the flags back." Another man said as he joined the group, trailed by Amy. Each of them were carrying both a Gadsden flag and an American flag. "All we have to do is pack these flags up and get outta here." he said as he detached the flags from their poles.

"You must be Brian." Arthur observed.

The man nodded. "And you must be Arthur Kirkland, and your friend is Alfred Jones. Amy told me about you." He finished, tossing the flag poles to the ground.

Amy handed the Gadsden flags to Melissa, who quickly folded them up and tucked them away in the cooler. Brian began folding the first American flag, only to stop a moment later when Alfred and Derek exclaimed, in unison, "You're folding it wrong!"

Then they glanced at each other. Alfred spoke first. "Alfred F. Jones, I work with the government."

"Derek Baunmun, I served in Iraq."

"Thank you." Alfred said as the two men shook hands. Derek nodded and glanced away.

"Here." Amy thrust the first flag at them. "I'd fold it, but I don't know which triangle fold is first.

Two neatly and properly folded American flags later, Amy and her group were ready to leave.

"Let's get this stuff back to our car." Brian said as he picked up the flagpoles. Amy grabbed her cooler, Melissa her serving tray and Derek grabbed the signs. "Then we can eat and get out of here." He turned to Arthur and Alfred. "Do you guys need a ride somewhere?"

Alfred shook his head. "Nah, I have an apartment in the city."

"Okay. You guys want to come us and get some food then?" Brian asked.

"Go where?" Amy pointed out. "We don't even know were we're going to eat."

"We'd love to join you," Alfred said. "And if you're looking for a restaurant, I can direct you to a good one."

"Thanks. We'll take you up on that."

For the most part, the group was quiet as they dropped their stuff off at the car and followed Alfred through the roads of D.C. on their way to the restaurant. Finally Amy spoke again. "it's too bad we couldn't stay longer. I would have liked to go through some of the memorials and stuff here."

"We didn't have time." Brian said. "And we have to get Melissa back to her plane before eight."

"Have you been to D.C. before?" Alfred asked.

Amy nodded. "A long time ago, when I was younger. I didn't think I would be coming back to this city to protest the government. But we have to do what we have to do."

There was a moment of silence, the Alfred spoke again. "Here we are."

The Tea Partiers glanced at the building. "The Firefly." Melissa read. Amy grinned. "Well, I like the name."

The group was able to get a table quickly, and after they placed their order, Arthur asked Melissa, "You're taking a plane tonight? Where are you going."

"Back to Maine." She replied. "I live with my husband and extended family. We run a restaurant up there."

"Is that where you got the maid outfit?" Derek asked.

Melissa shook her head. "No. I've always kind of liked those maid outfits they have in Japan, and I thought it would be cool to pair that with a serving tray that said, "Serving up a dose of liberty", so Fred told me to go ahead and get the outfit. The tray came from the restaurant, though."

"Fred?" Derek asked.

"Fredrick, my husband."

"So what made you join the Tea Party?" Alfred asked.

"Um..." She glanced away. "I voted for change and I got duped."

"You voted for this President?" Arthur asked incredulously.

Melissa nodded. "She's a recovering Democrat." Amy spoke up.

The waitress returned with their drinks, and after she had gone Arthur spoke again. "So what do the rest of you do?"

"Well, I work as a school librarian." Amy said.

"I used to be a computer technician, before I got permanently laid off." Brian said.

"And now that I'm back from the Middle East, I'm looking for a job." Derek said.

"Derek, Brian and I write for the same blog, which is how we know each other." Amy said.

"Do you think you've accomplished anything today?" Arthur asked.

Brian nodded. "Yep. we told Congress we remember what they've been doing." He fiddled with his wineglass a little, then pushed it away. "I can't drink. I'm the designated driver."

"But you can drink a toast or two, I hope," Derek said, turning the stem of his glass between calloused fingers.

"Of course." Brian picked up his glass. "What shall we drink too?"

"America, the greatest country ever. Let's get our country back!" Amy suggested.

"I'll drink to that," Melissa said as the group clinked their glasses together.

"I'd like to propose a toast to the Democrats." Brian said. "May their defeat this November be swift and sure."

"I'll drink to that." Alfred said.

They clinked their glasses together and drank, Arthur feeling awkward and wondering what the others were feelings.

Brian contemplated the wine left in his glass then set the glass down. "Okay. Now, no unkind words about Democrats until after we're done eating."

-------------------------------------------

The meal was enjoyed quickly, as Melissa had a plane to catch and the other Tea Partiers in the group had to get back home.

"You know, I was feeling a little down before I met you guys." Alfred confessed as they headed away from the restaurant. "But spending time with you guys has made me feel better. Thanks." He finished as he hugged Amy rather tightly.

"Air...!" Amy hissed. "Alfred, I can't breathe!"

"Sorry." He said as he let her go. "sometimes I forget my own strength."

"I'll say." Amy agreed wryly. "If you keep that up you'll definitely end up stimulating a few chiropractors."

"It was nice meeting you," Arthur said, and both he and Alfred waved as the Tea Partiers walked off. Then America turned to England. "I have some stuff to take care of in the city, so I'll meet you back at the apartment later, okay? Don't worry, I didn't lock the door."

"Um, okay..." England said as Alfred turned and headed off into the city, vanishing among the pedestrians a moment later. "I wonder where he's going," Arthur mused, then headed off to find a grocery store where he could get some tea.

America, on the other hand, headed through the capital until he came to a very specific monument, designed to look something like a Greek temple and was mostly empty of visitors now that it was was getting darker. He headed up the stairs and into the building; he didn't have to go very far to find the statue he wanted to see. Inscribed above the enormous seating figure were the words, "In this temple as in the hearts of the people for whom he saved the union the memory of Abraham Lincoln is enshrined forever."

Alfred sank down, his back against one of the pillars that held up the roof. "You know Abe, it's been really rough lately. Everyone thought that electing my new boss would make everything better, but it didn't. He made everything worse." Alfred drew his knees up to his chest and went on. "I feel so awful. Worse than I did in the Depression, even. Not as bad as the Civil War, though, not yet. But I'm afraid we'll go there again." He looked up at the statue's serene face. "I wish you were here Abe. You'd know what to do."

***


America wasn't going to be happy when he came home and found that his kitchen had been re-stocked with the supplies needed to make tea, but England decided that he would deal with that when the time came.

As he was putting the supplies away, he heard a knock on the door. Alfred would have certainly had a key to his own apartment, which left the interesting question of who could be knocking on the door.

Arthur yanked the door open to find a young man slightly shorter than England himself standing there. His skin was tan, his hair was black, and his gold eyes were glittering with excitement.

The kid extended a manila envelope towards the nation. "Hey Dad, I know you've been having a hard time lately, and I wanted to give you a heads-up because my boss just signed this new bill into law today and-" And then he realized something. "Hey! you're not my Dad!"

Arthur nodded, realizing as he did that the emblem on the kid's black shirt was a flag of some kind. "No, I'm not. I am the nation of England. And who, may I ask, are you?"

The kid grinned. "I'm Arizona, the 48th state."

--------------------------------------------------

T.A.R.N.S.: Waha! I thought I would never get this thing done. Well, let's get some notes here. The Tea Party here is kind of a juxtaposition, because the last time there was a very large Tea party in D.C. it was over the healthcare bill. The Firefly is a real D.C. restaurant. You can see their website here.

Let's see, what else did I need to mention? Oh yes, in case you couldn't guess, Alfred went to the Lincoln Memorial. Well, now that AZ's here, things should start to get interesting. Please stay tuned!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Chapter 2: Yes Tea Can

New Revolution

Chapter 2: YES TEA CAN!


--------------------------------------------

Summary: Not ‘We’ can, but ‘tea’ can, and it will, because we’re taxed enough already. Arthur, meet the party of We the People.

T.A.R.N.S.: And here, she goes, again! Okay, now we get to see some human characters, made up for the fic. I can’t wait to get the states in here.

-------------------------------------------------

Because Americans have this thing about tyranny…even when it’s in their own government. Especially when it’s in their government.


America slept late the next day, and England was not surprised. Deciding not to wake the other country up, he instead went out to take a walk around D.C.

He wandered through the town, past restaurants, shops, and monuments. And then he started to notice a crowd crowing across from the capital.

He didn’t pay it much attention, instead going back to America’s apartment to see if the other nation was awake yet. Alfred was, sitting at the table with a cup of black coffee in front of him.

“It’s a lovely day, Alfred,” Arthur said, sneaking a look at the clock. It was ten in the morning. “Are you planning anything for today?”

Alfred shook his head. “I want to stay as far away from my boss as I can. He hates me.”

England paused. He didn’t really want to spend such a nice day sitting inside. He was saved from mentioning this when Alfred spoke again.

“You don’t have to sit here with me,” He said. “You came to visit, so you should do what you want. Within the law, of course.”

Arthur nodded and turned towards the door. Maybe there was some shop around here where he could get a good cup of tea. Alfred didn’t keep tea around anymore.

***

As he headed back through the Capital, keeping his eye out for a café, he noticed that the crowd on the National Mall had grown larger, and decided to see what that was all about.

A young woman was sitting near the edges of the crowd, perched on a small cooler, working on a sign she held in her hands. He decided to talk to her.

“Excuse me miss.” She paused in her sign and looked up at him. “Could you tell me what’s going on here?”

“Of course! This is a Tea Party, and we’re here to protest Trap & Raid. I mean, Cap & Trade.” She replied. “I’m Amy Smith, by the way.”

“Arthur Kirkland.” He replied. “So, just out of curiosity, what do you have to do to join the Tea Party?”

“Be here. Would you like to join?” Amy asked as she stood up.

“Well, I’m actually British… and I’m here on a vacation. But for today I think I’ll hang around here.” He replied.

“Okay. You’ll need a sign.” She turned to the crowd. “Hey, can someone get this man a sign?”

Less than one minute later, Arthur found himself holding six signs and one bright yellow Gadsden flag.

“Uh,” He stammered, not sure what to say next. A Gadsden flag? The newspaper rumors were true, then, Americans really had reverted back to 1776. “What do I do with all of this?”

Amy considered it. “Pick a sign. You can just leave the rest on the ground, someone else will pick them up,” She replied, shouldering her own sign (“I want my country back!”) and heading off into the crowd, Arthur following her.

“Okay, there are some ground rules. Don’t throw anything, unless it’s trash, in which case put that stuff in a trash can. Also, no name calling.” Amy said.

“Alright,” Arthur said, pausing for a minute to look through the signs. (“Just say NO to socialism,” “Keep Your Kool-Aid, I Drink Tea,” “If your Reps voted Tax & Spend Kick ‘em out in 2010,” “Politicians lied and the Economy died,” “Tea Party Today, Tar & Feathers Tomorrow,”) and the final one, which chilled Arthur to the bone, (“USA 1776-2008, R.I.P.”)

He choose the one that read, “Keep your Kool-Aid, I drink Tea”, figuring it was less of a lie than the others. He did drink tea, after all. But he wasn’t American, so he didn’t really belong here.

“Tea break, tea break!” A woman in her mid-twenties, dressed in a black and white maid’s outfit, came over. She was holding a tray with several cups of steaming liquid on it.

“How are things, Melissa?” Amy asked the other woman as she and Arthur each took a cup. “Did you find Brian and Derek?”

Melissa nodded. “I have to go take them some tea, but I think remember where I left that. Also, I called home. Fred was keeping an eye on the baby, but he reported the Fox News has nothing new to report on Cap & Trade.”

“Good.” Amy nodded.

“Who’s your friend?” Melissa asked.

“This is Arthur Kirkland,” Amy replied.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kirkland.” Melissa said.

England nodded. “The pleasure is mine.”

The woman nodded and turned back to Amy. “Amy, aren’t the speakers going to start soon?”

Amy nodded. “The first one starts at ten-thirty, then the next isn’t until two. We should get Derek and Brian back.” She turned to Arthur. “You gonna stay for the speakers?”

“Well, I don’t have anything better to do.” He said as Melissa headed off.

“Great, then you’ll stay. We have some great speakers here today, and … you know, you’re English, and I don’t know what you’ll think of it.”

“You’re very cheerful.” Arthur observed.

“No, today I’m mellow. Usually I’m a lot sharper than this.”

“Amy I have a question,” England said, glancing at the Gadsden flag he was still holding. “Are you going to want this flag back?”

***

England was not surprised to find that America was still sitting at the table, his empty cup of coffee still sitting in front of him.

Pulling out the flag he’d been given (but didn’t really want to keep) he did the thing that seemed most sensible and tossed it in Alfred’s face.

“Hey, you stupid wanker, you’re coming back out with me this time.” England announced.

Jolted out of his melancholy, Alfred glanced at the flag that England had just tossed in his face. It was bright yellow with a coiled rattlesnake and the words “Don’t Tread on Me,” on it.

The Gadsden flag. He remembered it from the 1700s. And the Tea Party.

“Tea Party?” He asked, looking up at the older nation.

“Oh, so you have heard of it.”

“Of course I’ve heard of it! I’ve been to a few of their rallies.”

“Good. Then let me give you an outside opinion. You need to go see what they’re doing today.” England said. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

America glanced at him. “I’d like to see you drag me out of here.”

England considered it. “Well you have been sick for a while now; I might have a fair shot.”

America rolled his eyes. “Fine, I’ll go with you this afternoon.”
--------------------------------------------------
T.A.R.N.S.: And I broke it in half right here because it was getting too darn long. Yes, we have OCs. We'll have quite a few of those in this story, mostly the States.
Stay tuned, we're just getting started, or, to misquote an American patriot, "I have not yet begun to write!"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

New Revolution - Chapter 1: All The Right Moves

New Revolution

Chapter 1: All the Right Moves

--

Summary: He had watched the country grow up; he didn’t think he would be there when it died. Older countries were supposed to die before younger ones, just like older people before younger. That was how it worked. But apparently not this time.

Genre: Drama/ Current Events

Rating: T

T.A.R.N.S.: I’ve always thought about doing a story that would chronicle current events through the eyes of a Conservative Patriot, I just never dreamed I would do it like this. I guess APH has changed a lot of things for me. Anyway, this is, to a limited degree, a chronicle of current events that I’m telling through this story. Some events have been juxtaposed in my mind, so they may not quite be in chronological order, and I do apologize for that. The two main characters are America and England, and I don’t know why. I guess I like the relationship those two have. And I don’t know why I like that either. Ah well.

Disclaimer: This story will be very offensive to American Democrats, Moderates, Liberals, and potentially the entire Obama Administration. So take precautions when reading. I’m out to tell the truth, not endear myself to liberals. Also, I do not own APH.

Some OOCness, I apologize.

------------------------------------------------------------

It can't be possible, that rain can fall
Only when it's over our heads
The sun is shining everyday but its far away
Over the world they said, they got

They got all the right friends in all the right places
So yeah, we're going down
They got all the right moves in all the right places
So yeah, we're going down
Said everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going
Yeah, we're going down…


- One Republic, All the Right Moves


In hindsight, he didn’t know why he was here. Maybe because he was already on the continent to visit Canada, so he decided to just drop by and see how America was doing as well.

Arthur Kirkland, the personification of the United Kingdom, climbed the steps that led to Alfred’s apartment and knocked on the door.

There was no sound from within.

After a moment Arthur opened to door and let himself in. It wasn’t like America ever kept the door locked anyway.

But there was no sign that anyone was in the apartment.

Arthur glanced into the kitchen and living room, the master bedroom, and the smaller bedroom that was usually reserved for Canada when the other country came to visit.

Still nothing.

Just when Arthur was starting to think that the whole place was totally empty, he saw that the bathroom door was opened a crack.

And someone was lying on the floor.

He pushed open the door and entered the room. From his position on his back on the floor, Alfred F. Jones, the personification of America, grinned up at him. “Hi England. I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t get up to answer the door. I figured you’d just let yourself, and I have a splitting headache and don’t feel like getting up.

If his appearance was anything to go by, the headache wasn’t his only problem. England crossed his arms over his chest. “You look bloody awful,” He said bluntly. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Guess.”

America’s new boss. Not surprising.

“He doesn’t listen to anyone.” Alfred sighed. “The country’s divided and he wants to divide it further.”

Arthur tried to think of any other situation he’d ever seen – ever been in – that could compare to this one, but he kept coming up dry.

Finally deciding he couldn’t come up with anything, Arthur finally settled for reaching down and pulling Alfred to his feet.

“Ow…oh…ow.” Alfred pressed a hand to his head as Arthur pulled him up. He took a seat on the edge of the bathtub as Arthur started rifling thorough the cabinet behind the mirror. Finding what he was looking for, a bottle of aspirin, the other nation took three of them out of the bottle and handed them to America, who swallowed them dry.

“I’d recommend some sleep.” Arthur said. “It will help your headache.”

“Okay,” Alfred slid off the edge of the tub and back onto the floor.

“No! Not on the floor!” Arthur dragged the other nation back to his feet and tugged him out of the room. “Which one of these is your room?” He asked, not sure which room was which in the D.C. apartment.

“Farthest back.” Alfred replied.

Arthur delivered him to the doorway of the room, then asked, “You have someplace I can stay? I’d like to not have to travel tonight.”

“Take the other bedroom. It’s the one Canada uses when he comes to visit.” Alfred replied.

“Alright. Good night America.”

“’Night England. Uh, thanks for stopping by.”

----------------------------------------
T.A.R.N.S.: And the beginning is simplistic, and I have to play catch up on this like you wouldn't believe. Kindly drop a comment, 'kay?

P.S.: I do not own One republic's song "All The Right Moves.' I am not intending to infringe anyone's copyrights.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Axis Powers Hetalia - A Beginner's Guide

Axis Powers Hetalia, alternatively know as Hetalia - Axis Powers and sometimes shortened to APH or Hetalia, is series by Hidekazu Himaruya that started as a webcomic, then somewhere down the line became published, became an anime, and is now getting a movie.

APH takes all the major nations of the world, and some not-so-major ones, and personifies them. Here I'll give you a brief run down of some of those characters, but there are far to many for me to list here. Most of the ones I mention will be major players in New Revolution. Some are there just because. There will most likely be no images, though, sorry. You'll have to do a Google Image Search for pics of the characters later, or something.

Okay. All characters listed here don't belong to me. For more, see the disclaimer on the lower sidebar. Also, most characters have both the name of the country they represent and a human name, and those two names will be used interchangeably in New Revolution. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.



America - Alfred F. Jones

He, in case you couldn't tell from the title, is the personification of the United States of America. (Just the U.S. No other part of the continent.) His hobbies are adventure and archeology, and he enjoys eating junk food.* He was raised by England, right up until he declared independence. (Of course, you should know this already.) He also has an alien friend named Tony.

England - Arthur Kirkland**

This guy used to be a pirate, but he grew out of it or something. He has many talents, including seeing supernatural creatures and using magic. He's also a terrible cook.

He has a unique relationship with Alfred, and so for that reason, and 'cause I like to watch these two interact, I've decided to use him a lot in the story. His eyebrows are ginormous, for no apparently obvious reason,


Canada - Matthew Williams

This poor guy is overlooked. A lot. To the point that it's a running gag in the series. And when he's not being overlooked, he's being mistaken for his brother America. Despite all this he's a pretty nice guy. He has a (pet?) polar bear named Kumajiro that he takes everywhere. And Kumajiro can't remember who Canada is either.

K: "Who're you?"
C: "I'm Canada."***


Prussia - Gilbert Beilschmidt


Yes, I know Prussia is no longer a country. That fact hasn't caught up to APH or Gilbert himself, for that matter. He's supposed to be some kind of great fighter, but if fandom is anything to go by (usually it's not) then he has this thing about 'awesome.' That'll probably show up in NR because without it I don't know what this guy could do.



China - Wang Yao

No, I don't know which of those two human names is his first name. I would assume "Yao" but I could be wrong.**** This guy has been alive for a very, very long time, and has a verbal tick (aru!) which he puts on the end of his sentences.


Another interesting thing to note is that this guy has numerous villas all over the world, in the form of Chinatowns.


France - Francis Bonnefoy

Ah, France. This guy is pervert, and it's usually played for laughs. He's also England's archenemies, another thing that seems to be played for laughs. Sometimes credited with raising Matthew. Mostly credited for being a lech.



And it would take more time than I have to tell you about Ivan Braginski, the representation of Russia, Kiku Honda, otherwise known as Japan, and I'd love to list out more, but I'd be here 'til doomsday.



Watch a great deal of the subbed anime here on Veoh.

Tokyopop is said to have the license for the manga and first volume is supposed to come out sometime in Spetember, but you can read it online here in the meantime. Don't forget to buy the actual book if you like it.



Notes:

* Have you ever seen some commercial where X brand was powered by Y? This sports person powered by Gatorade, for example?(5) Well, APH is Powered By Stereotypes.

** Um, technically it's not 'England' so much as it's 'The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.' Everyone just calls him England for logical reasons.

*** Actual lines from an actual episode of APH.

****I read somewhere that Yao is his first name, and that makes sense. I've seen other Chinese character have the last name of Wang and it's variants, so it seems that Yao is China's first name.

5 - I do not own Gatorade.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

New Revolution - Prolouge: Dodge Challengers and Redcoats







"Stop laughing you stupid wanker." Arthur growled. "That was not funny."

From where he was sitting propped against the wall, Alfred chuckled some more and took his glasses off, wiping them clean. "It was hilarious. I should have recorded it.'

"You had better not!" England squawked. "Of all the nerve! To make light of a conflict like that..."

"To run redcoats over with a cool Dodge Challenger... you know, I think Michigan owns one of those."

"Stop trying to change the subject." England snapped.

"I'm not trying to change the subject." Alfred replied, snickering slightly. "It was just a commercial. Sheesh, don't get so upset."

Arthur just glared at him. "I come over to help you and this is the thanks I get?"

"Hey, I can't control every single commercial. At least someone got a job out of it. That was good for my economy."

England muttered something incoherent under his breath and turned away.

"Wow, you're getting touchy in your old age, England. That was 234 years ago. I thought that was all behind us now.

"It is behind us." England replied.

"Then how come you're so upset?"

For that England had no answer.

"Come on. I'm sure Virginia made something great for dinner," Alfred said, standing up. "And I should go feed my whale."

"What are you doing with a whale in your backyard, anyway?" England asked.

Alfred, who was half out of the room, turned back and gave Arthur a horrified look. "that whale is my pet! Are you trying to make me get rid of it?"

"I... ugh. Never mind. Just go feed your whale."

--------------------------------------------------------

T.A.R.N.S.: Why Alfred has a whale in a pool in his backyard is a mystery for the ages. Well, I'm still working on the guide to APH, but I think this needs to get started. Updates will be scattered, but I've got plans for this. So let's get started.

The prologue is lighthearted, and ... kind of out of order. Because right after this we go to the actual beginning and start from there, but i saw that commercial and wanted to use it, so it ended up in the prologue.

Anyway, let me know what you think.